Should it be that you gathered up our suffering, in agony, into your body Should it be that you bore with you this hardship through death Should it be that you meet with God as you come to that other land Should it be that you find his countenance turned toward you then Should it be that you know the language to speak, so this god may hear and understand Should it be that you then talk with this god and he hear you out Should it be so, Pray for us. Death had not even been a possibility I had not thought So many different things Could happen to me I want to say That there will always be room upon the hill. But what could I ever do about it? I climb to the mountaintop, but I can’t seem to shout it Nothing to say Nothing to do Everything is so permanent

Without heaven, without sin, you make your way again, saying “I don’t need anyone else, I don’t need anyone else” Whoever thought having a body would get as weird as this “I don’t need anything else, nothing else, nothing else” Water burning black, stars shining back, another nostalgia attack If I could tell you, then I would tell you Sky’s on fire, my heart’s a liar, I’ve nothing more to say It’s almost all gone away, I’m almost all gone away These days, these days, these days: Ideas are all that seem to be left these days My friends in the wasteland, made by our own hand— You ask yourself, what am I doing when everything is ruined Boys clutching pearls in front of girls/who swoons over you? “Don’t make me say don’t make me say don’t make me say don’t make me say” It’s a new sun you’ve never seen from the ashes of a teenage dream “What did I know what did I know what did I know what did I know” You & me, we both agreed that we were like family— Written in ink, written in blood, on our skin with all the mud— But can I be your brother if I feel like something other? It’s all set up like before, but I’m not that person anymore These days, these days, these days: I don’t know what kind of human I am these days I used to be pretty sure about everything in the world But some sacred sensuality keeps eluding me And I don’t know my own body I don’t remember where I came from—I only know where I changed But as soon as I get back, it all starts to rearrange I used to point and laugh with you—would do anything you asked me to But some of us have been to hell, I remember all too well These days, these days, these days: I don’t know what kind of human I am these days My friends in the wasteland, made by our own hand— Locked up in my head, if I were you I’d say: ”These days, these days, these days: I don’t know who I am anymore these days" I used to be pretty sure about everything in the world But if this is the future, then there’s nothing new here --- You’ll never be alone at home Or so they tell me, I don’t think I’ll ever know How to fit into all these different schemes Without becoming any one thing Our lives will never ever be the same Even if we have similar sounding names Charting different roads through this land that is not our own The sins of the father are unavoidable

As of this writing, 7 years 5 months ago Our Facebook arguments started getting old But it’s alright, it’s ok, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway Just tell it to the ghost of the rest of the band, I’ve got nothing to say You, you had a mean streak; I, I yelled all the time. Going there, coming back when it was time to start all over again Day after day after day after day, til we let go somehow— You know, we really should be home by now It went round and round and round and round And then we come down Spinning out of control Til the spinning gets old I wish I had known we’d go Round and round and round and round and round and round and round And then we fall out I can’t believe I could write those lines right before you came back into my life— But if I don’t leave them in, what kind of person am I? I’m not sure we can work it out, but maybe we can figure out Some sort of distant brotherhood, faded ink faded blood, Just to keep each other from wasting away in the fallout It’s some red sun I’ve never seen Like some forgotten dream Back when I had the resources to get along with you All my fallouts, are they all my fault? The lines that hold us together are falling apart I must admit I found it easier to live with a little hate in my heart You & I, we never fell out But that doesn’t cause me any less doubt That I should have said something before it was too late I never thought that I would need to remind myself Not to fall out of love when people needed help But you’d be surprised if I told you how far I fell

We used to write together, so unsure that nothing got done Now that I’m older I’m sure there’s nothing to be done But that’s alright, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway I think I’m almost ready to exist without meaning anything Now I’m back, and I can’t breathe—the dust in my lungs, the holes in my memory Our lives used to be kept relatively clean So when did this room get so dirty? Whatever happened to our teenage dreams? Everything used to mean something These days I think I know who I am, I wish I knew who I was going to be I used to play Tales of Symphonia, and now I solemnly listen to symphonies It’s a wild life, brought alive at night, But now the drinks wipe 2 a.m. from my sight I used to have dreams, they meant everything And I wonder from time to time, are you happy? And I wonder from time to time, am I happy? And from time to time I snap back to reality The night before I cry out no more, and try to let my soul burn blue, Sit around the fire til we get tired, fall asleep and wake up to Blood red skies above, ashes on my arms, legs I can’t move, and a lying heart No reception could warm It feels like I haven’t moved in so long But everything that matters to me Matters in this world I’m in the world aren’t I, my flag is still unfurled But you’re not here anymore And all I can do is look at this new tattoo— Because you mattered to me, I hope I mattered to you --- It all returns to nothing It all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down It all returns to nothing I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down We all end up in the same place Watching the same shows Living the same lives We all come tumbling down Tumbling down Tumbling Down It all returns to nothing I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down And I keep looking around For you As long as there’s fire As long as there’s sun I pray for rain on the day I die in the arms of the one I love But why should I be so lucky

There’s no saving anything But I still remember everything We’ve all got to go someday (It’s alright it’s ok) Do my words mean anything Are they just for filling up the melody Well all my love just seems to have been a feeling Sometimes you want be someone Sometimes you want to be anyone I say I wash my hands of everything and you see right through my disguise Cause when we’re all together Drinking and talking I just can’t believe we’d ever die But lying on the floor I come undone Lying on the floor, It’s like I hear it for the very first time I wanted shelter from the storm Since the day that I was born But if it seems a teenage dream then what is heaven for? (Just tell me there’s always room at home) Sometimes you can’t go it alone Sometimes you want to just come home If I put myself in the middle, I could connect the ends and keep from coming undone But when we’re all together Drinking and talking I just can’t believe we’d ever die I can’t think my way through this Being one’s self is not effortless (It just seems that way)

All my loves far across the sea I call your name but you don’t hear me So I stand, waiting for you The exact opposite of what I wanted to do. The ocean comes in, the ocean recedes The ocean will drown all of my needs The moment has gone but I can’t stop looking back A wave & the shore, one moment of contact So why hasn’t it gone away This feeling I have I don’t dare to say If I walk through the door And renounce it all I’m afraid I’ll still turn into salt Maybe we’ll just drift away With no more words to say I will die some day You will die some day But way before that day we’ll drift away We used to look up under starry skies An entire life flashed before my eyes But the stars have come out every night since One after the other like a series of prints A handful of days makes a clip in my mind History on repeat, frozen in time Never saw a love story that I believed But I’ll always stay through the finale Tried to capture what I couldn’t ignore It will never be as it was before You and I are like the sea & the shore Once together, nevermore Maybe we’ll just drift away With no more words left to say I will die someday You will die someday Maybe we’ll just drift away Maybe we’ll just drift away With no more words to say I will die someday You will die someday My only possession is my memory

When I talk to God Am I just talking to myself I turned from Christians to the mystics before I swore off all help But I still need you And I still hope you want me too And I still look for something to do To prove my love for you [But the body is no more (And my spirit’s still so poor) What was it even for? Just a shell To keep out hell For a while] And here I am, just getting old And I wonder who I’m talking to The mic or the Lord or a memory I don’t see anyone anywhere near me Oh Lord I miss you I missed you Please forgive me too.

I can’t say what hasn’t been said before And you, you don’t like it when things change anymore So I stopped trying to hold open the door I just let it go, God only knows Nothing to be done I set up everything and put it down, and then some I hope I got it right, oh God it’s been so long The only thing I remember is nothing being wrong But memories will lie til the day I die Nothing to be done You can come home expecting something like a parade— Packed days, long nights, no fights, always with something to say— But as before, evermore, everything was the same So I just took a seat, no one new to meet And nothing to be done