All Things Excellent

by Moniker

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
03:51
2.
3.
4.
04:55
5.
04:48
6.
07:34
7.
8.

about

Mostly written in Sept/Oct 2015

credits

released November 13, 2015

An album by Jordan

Additional guitar on Be by TD Crowley

Album illustration by R.E. Parrish
Layout by Suzles

tags

license

about

Moniker Virginia

I'm Jordan, and here is some music I wrote

contact / help

Contact Moniker

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Oh God
[Of God]

Oh god
I can't feel anything
And the movies and mp3s
Are all that's left to speak of me
Oh god

Oh God
Who do you put in front of me?
Lovely, lovely
Everything I'd love to be
From here to infinity

I've been looking for someone to make it come to life for me
Someone I can ascribe to understandable reality
Someone to help me settle down and find myself a city
Tonight I was looking for someone else but look who I found in front of me

Oh God


Highest perfection
Sublime connection
Highest perfection
Sublime connection

Oh God won't you answer me
Did this always have to be?
If I'm in you and we're in you then tell me how could ----
(Aren't we all together?)
The universe is circling
The universe is circling

Infinite, immutable
My fate is indisputable
No contingent connections
But I'll never know what's happening
From here to infinity

No end in sight, no end in mind, just all the different ways to be
Of course it can't be easier but at the end it says you're free
{That I'll find someone to link the order, connection of things}
Find someone to have coffee with, accept my role in the machine
{Someone to find a city to have coffee in (Don't paint the scene!)
Spinozists making Moses look like such a lovely way to be
Safe from such a darkness I just could not believe}
I was ready to rebel tonight but look who I found in front of me


Oh God



I spilled my wine, defiled your name
in a crass display lacking all grace.
But when your name's on every page
It all looks the same.
Track Name: Watching Love
[Of the Mind]

How do I know if they feel what I feel?
Can you tell me if what I feel is real

Watching love,
Just watching love

Never found a love story I believed
In a book or a movie or an mp3

Watching love,
just watching love



How do they know how I feel?
Nothing ever feels real
(I only wanna know how you feel)

We could be indifferent lovers,
Cause I've been attracted to yr inhumanity
You know so many times I just do things
But do I just do things to feel like I'm here?



I remember watching Young Forgettable Lovers
Apparently they were the most in love
Track Name: Real Life Is Happening Right Now (Interlude)
Fade away—
Never to fade away
Tried to say—
What I'm trying to say

If reason has guided my life,
Then reason is all over that dance floor tonight
But you don't dance—
Wait I don't dance.
Why don't we dance?

Fade away,
Never to fade away
Passions never seem to completely fade away

But that's ok—
I mean, who would I be if I didn't sometimes lose my way?

—We could be indifferent lovers
Dancing with blank faces all night long
We could be inches away in bed
Who knows where you might find my head—
So can I just tell you that my heart is in my mouth?
Everything's so beautiful right now

Behind the screen there is the flattened cinematic dream
Unveil me tonight, because I promise you! I'm not who I seem!
I'm trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, trying I'm
Trying to say—
Well thoughts go in and thoughts go out so if I could just say

My heart is in my mouth! (Can I say that my heart is in my mouth??)
Well everything's so beautiful right now!
(We could be indifferent lovers, dancing with blank faces all night long)
<Follow the thread until it ends,
what good is living if you act like you're dead,
you know
you know
you know>
(Trying to get rid of the voice in my head that says
"Keep it together you're embarrassing yourself
Keep it inside man you're embarrassing yourself again")

Feeling everything that I thought was dead
I've got so many freaked out voices bouncing round in my head, saying
"You are not this, this is not you
And in a couple months you're gonna want something new—"
That was not true.
I guess I was into you.

(Could I just say)
My heart is in my mouth
Everything's so beautiful right now
—We could be indifferent lovers, dancing with blank faces all night long—
<Follow the thread until it ends, what good is living if you act like you're dead>
("Keep it together you're embarrassing yourself again")


Can I just tell you that oh God, my heart is in my mouth
Well everything's so beautiful right now
Oh God, my heart is in my mouth
Everything's so beautiful right now


Now that we've set the stage, so to speak, we can get into what actually happened.
Track Name: Benedick
[Of the Affects 1]
Like a Shakespearean comedy—you feel like you should though you know it's no good


No negatives
Only excluding positives

No negatives
Only excluding positives

Sing a song and I'll
Sing a song and I'll

Half finished thoughts
I wanted to tell you that I love you all

Sleeping with your ex again
I guess he's not your ex again
I never wanted to play true detective when
It counted
It counted it counted
It counted it counted it counted it counted
It counted it counted it counted it counted
It counted it counted it counted it counted

Counting the days away again

"Well Benedick and I
(Quit making such a big deal of it)
Argue all the time
(Quit making such a big deal of it)
Talk all the time
(Keep it together you're embarrassing yourself)
All the time"

No negatives
Only excluding positives
Who'll listen to the stories we tell ourselves
I tell myself
Track Name: UUUU
[Of the Affects 2]

Everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
If you act like I never existed
Then I could think I never existed

Everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
If you act like I never existed
Then I could think I never existed
Where are my friends

Tried my best to open the door
What is it that you're looking for
What is it that you're asking for
Suddenly
No more

Well everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
If you act like I never existed
Then I could think I never existed

If my impressions on you
Establish my existence and virtue
And your impressions on me
(Floating perceptions
No connections)
Are just a bunch of contingent memories—

Why am I talking to myself again

You can visit me anytime
I'm just sorry I couldn't better address you


Everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
If you act like I never existed
Then I could think I never existed
Everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
If you act like I never existed
Everything's a little bit shifted
And it's like I never existed
Everything's a little bit shifted
Track Name: Be
[Of Human Bondage]

& you were so lovely
I didn't notice what was happening
I didn't think this would happen to me
But I wasn't happening
I wasn't anything

When the people you love aren't right under yr nose
& you're miles away and you feel a bit thrown
Surrounded by people who don't give a shit
So you watch their blank faces and cling to the bits

I've been attracted to yr inhumanity
But every conversation ends so unattractively
& we are not the beautiful couple we thought we'd be
Thoughts come in & thoughts go out
Maybe I'll never know what I'm talking about
In search of a certain elegance, will this all repeat again?

Part IV, Prop. 20, Scholium:
No one, therefore, unless he is defeated by causes external, and contrary, to his nature, neglects to seek his own advantage, or to preserve his being.

I stand right up & I say
"I see through you!"
But life just keeps going on

Floating perceptions
Highest perfection
T̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶a̶ ̶v̶i̶n̶d̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ ̶
J̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶
̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶,̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶.̶
(Turning each other off, still I keep holding on. Is it because—)
When the dance is over the blank faces head home
Indifferent lovers come crashing into reality—

I've been attracted to your inhumanity
But every conversation ends so unattractively
& we are not the beautiful couple I thought we'd be
But what do I know about humanity?
Thoughts arrive so quick I wouldn't say they belong to me
Sometimes I'm human, & sometimes I'm just saying words

& I just go through the motions
Are these just lesser emotions?
But still, you tell me I'm so sensitive

& I guess I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here?

& I guess I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here?

I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here

I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here



Part IV, Prop. 37, Scholium 1:
And since the greatest good one seeks from an affect is often such that only one can possess it fully, those who love are not of one mind in their love—while they rejoice to sing the praises of the thing they love, they fear to be believed.
Track Name: Watching Love (Reprise)
I was living the dream
Flattened cinematic dream
So far way I had to find a name
We had to find someone to blame

Knowing you don't feel the way I feel
Knowing I won't think about you still

Watching love
Floating perceptions no connections
And after all this time I still don't know why
Still watching love

Are the parts a part of the whole
Do the nerves reach all the way down to my soul
Is it just the endorphins in me
That make my hands want to touch what my eyes see
And if I think of you will the order, connection of things
Still be the same?

Watching love
But that doesn't mean me
Just watching love
Searching for any way to be
Track Name: Someone to Have Coffee With
[Of....well you know by this point right?]

Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God

The first time left me so meek
Eating apples & Goldfish for weeks—
Still eagerly awaiting next time!

I used to be so sure who I was
Sleeping in and collecting ticket stubs—
Now I just like to be up in the morning

I've been trying to preserve my being
I say I'm looking for love but it's meaning
Someone to have coffee with
Someone to sit around and wait with
But first there's the first dates till the moment they're asleep in your bed as you write this
(Stop putting a narrative on it!)
making you the biggest hypocrite

So rare, so difficult
To stay at home after waiting so long to pick up & go—
But it'll be worth it every time I wake up! (Right?)

Like leaves hanging off a dying tree
Olives soaked in a dirty martini—
I'm sorry, I keep trying to help myself

I want someone to take me across the globe
But more than that, someone to take me home
Someone to have coffee with
So I'm sorry M–––––––
Turns out I can't take my own medicine (who knew??)
I didn't know what I was then

Everyone stays the same
I keep changing to feel a little less lame—
I'm always catching up

The way you make jokes without any help
I'm still trying to explain myself—
Do I have any explanations yet?

I hope I fade out slowly in the end
I'm gonna fade out slowly in the end
I hope I fade out slowly in the end



Another day another day, we might meet again but it won't be the same
My memories of you get farther and farther away—
But life just keeps going on.