1. |
Should It Be
01:31
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Should it be that you gathered up our suffering, in agony, into your body
Should it be that you bore with you this hardship through death
Should it be that you meet with God as you come to that other land
Should it be that you find his countenance turned toward you then
Should it be that you know the language to speak, so this god may hear and understand
Should it be that you then talk with this god and he hear you out
Should it be so,
Pray for us.
Death had not even been a possibility
I had not thought
So many different things
Could happen to me
I want to say
That there will always be room upon the hill.
But what could I ever do about it?
I climb to the mountaintop, but I can’t seem to shout it
Nothing to say
Nothing to do
Everything is so permanent
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2. |
Newhere
04:56
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Without heaven, without sin, you make your way again, saying
“I don’t need anyone else, I don’t need anyone else”
Whoever thought having a body would get as weird as this
“I don’t need anything else, nothing else, nothing else”
Water burning black, stars shining back, another nostalgia attack
If I could tell you, then I would tell you
Sky’s on fire, my heart’s a liar, I’ve nothing more to say
It’s almost all gone away, I’m almost all gone away
These days, these days, these days:
Ideas are all that seem to be left these days
My friends in the wasteland, made by our own hand—
You ask yourself, what am I doing when everything is ruined
Boys clutching pearls in front of girls/who swoons over you?
“Don’t make me say don’t make me say don’t make me say don’t make me say”
It’s a new sun you’ve never seen from the ashes of a teenage dream
“What did I know what did I know what did I know what did I know”
You & me, we both agreed that we were like family—
Written in ink, written in blood, on our skin with all the mud—
But can I be your brother if I feel like something other?
It’s all set up like before, but I’m not that person anymore
These days, these days, these days:
I don’t know what kind of human I am these days
I used to be pretty sure about everything in the world
But some sacred sensuality keeps eluding me
And I don’t know my own body
I don’t remember where I came from—I only know where I changed
But as soon as I get back, it all starts to rearrange
I used to point and laugh with you—would do anything you asked me to
But some of us have been to hell, I remember all too well
These days, these days, these days:
I don’t know what kind of human I am these days
My friends in the wasteland, made by our own hand—
Locked up in my head, if I were you I’d say:
”These days, these days, these days:
I don’t know who I am anymore these days"
I used to be pretty sure about everything in the world
But if this is the future, then there’s nothing new here
---
You’ll never be alone at home
Or so they tell me, I don’t think I’ll ever know
How to fit into all these different schemes
Without becoming any one thing
Our lives will never ever be the same
Even if we have similar sounding names
Charting different roads through this land that is not our own
The sins of the father are unavoidable
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3. |
Fallouts
05:42
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As of this writing, 7 years 5 months ago
Our Facebook arguments started getting old
But it’s alright, it’s ok, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway
Just tell it to the ghost of the rest of the band, I’ve got nothing to say
You, you had a mean streak; I, I yelled all the time.
Going there, coming back when it was time to start all over again
Day after day after day after day, til we let go somehow—
You know, we really should be home by now
It went round and round and round and round
And then we come down
Spinning out of control
Til the spinning gets old
I wish I had known we’d go
Round and round and round and round
and round and round and round
And then we fall out
I can’t believe I could write those lines right before you came back into my life—
But if I don’t leave them in, what kind of person am I?
I’m not sure we can work it out, but maybe we can figure out
Some sort of distant brotherhood, faded ink faded blood,
Just to keep each other from wasting away in the fallout
It’s some red sun I’ve never seen
Like some forgotten dream
Back when I had the resources to get along with you
All my fallouts, are they all my fault?
The lines that hold us together are falling apart
I must admit
I found it easier to live with a little hate in my heart
You & I, we never fell out
But that doesn’t cause me any less doubt
That I should have said something before it was too late
I never thought that I would need to remind myself
Not to fall out of love when people needed help
But you’d be surprised if I told you how far I fell
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4. |
Teenage Dreams
07:23
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We used to write together, so unsure that nothing got done
Now that I’m older I’m sure there’s nothing to be done
But that’s alright, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter anymore anyway
I think I’m almost ready to exist without meaning anything
Now I’m back, and I can’t breathe—the dust in my lungs, the holes in my memory
Our lives used to be kept relatively clean
So when did this room get so dirty? Whatever happened to our teenage dreams?
Everything used to mean something
These days I think I know who I am, I wish I knew who I was going to be
I used to play Tales of Symphonia, and now I solemnly listen to symphonies
It’s a wild life, brought alive at night,
But now the drinks wipe 2 a.m. from my sight
I used to have dreams, they meant everything
And I wonder from time to time, are you happy?
And I wonder from time to time, am I happy?
And from time to time
I snap back to reality
The night before I cry out no more, and try to let my soul burn blue,
Sit around the fire til we get tired, fall asleep and wake up to
Blood red skies above, ashes on my arms, legs I can’t move, and a lying heart
No reception could warm
It feels like I haven’t moved in so long
But everything that matters to me
Matters in this world
I’m in the world aren’t I, my flag is still unfurled
But you’re not here anymore
And all I can do is look at this new tattoo—
Because you mattered to me, I hope I mattered to you
---
It all returns to nothing
It all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down
It all returns to nothing
I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down
We all end up in the same place
Watching the same shows
Living the same lives
We all come tumbling down
Tumbling down
Tumbling
Down
It all returns to nothing
I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down
I just keep letting me down letting me down letting me down
And I keep looking around
For you
As long as there’s fire
As long as there’s sun
I pray for rain on the day I die in the arms of the one I love
But why should I be so lucky
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5. |
Sure-Seems
03:06
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There’s no saving anything
But I still remember everything
We’ve all got to go someday
(It’s alright it’s ok)
Do my words mean anything
Are they just for filling up the melody
Well all my love just seems to have been a feeling
Sometimes you want be someone
Sometimes you want to be anyone
I say I wash my hands of everything and you see right through my disguise
Cause when we’re all together
Drinking and talking
I just can’t believe we’d ever die
But lying on the floor I come undone
Lying on the floor,
It’s like I hear it for the very first time
I wanted shelter from the storm
Since the day that I was born
But if it seems a teenage dream then what is heaven for?
(Just tell me there’s always room at home)
Sometimes you can’t go it alone
Sometimes you want to just come home
If I put myself in the middle,
I could connect the ends and keep from coming undone
But when we’re all together
Drinking and talking
I just can’t believe we’d ever die
I can’t think my way through this
Being one’s self is not effortless
(It just seems that way)
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6. |
Sea-Shore
06:11
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All my loves far across the sea
I call your name but you don’t hear me
So I stand, waiting for you
The exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
The ocean comes in, the ocean recedes
The ocean will drown all of my needs
The moment has gone but I can’t stop looking back
A wave & the shore, one moment of contact
So why hasn’t it gone away
This feeling I have
I don’t dare to say
If I walk through the door
And renounce it all
I’m afraid I’ll still turn into salt
Maybe we’ll just drift away
With no more words to say
I will die some day
You will die some day
But way before that day we’ll drift away
We used to look up under starry skies
An entire life flashed before my eyes
But the stars have come out every night since
One after the other like a series of prints
A handful of days makes a clip in my mind
History on repeat, frozen in time
Never saw a love story that I believed
But I’ll always stay through the finale
Tried to capture what I couldn’t ignore
It will never be as it was before
You and I are like the sea & the shore
Once together, nevermore
Maybe we’ll just drift away
With no more words left to say
I will die someday
You will die someday
Maybe we’ll just drift away
Maybe we’ll just drift away
With no more words to say
I will die someday
You will die someday
My only possession is my memory
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7. |
Prayer
01:19
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When I talk to God
Am I just talking to myself
I turned from Christians to the mystics before I swore off all help
But I still need you
And I still hope you want me too
And I still look for something to do
To prove my love for you
[But the body is no more
(And my spirit’s still so poor)
What was it even for?
Just a shell
To keep out hell
For a while]
And here I am, just getting old
And I wonder who I’m talking to
The mic or the Lord or a memory
I don’t see anyone anywhere near me
Oh Lord
I miss you
I missed you
Please forgive me too.
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8. |
Going Home For A Funeral
21:51
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9. |
Friends/Family
01:53
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10. |
Nothing To Be Done
10:10
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I can’t say what hasn’t been said before
And you, you don’t like it when things change anymore
So I stopped trying to hold open the door
I just let it go, God only knows
Nothing to be done
I set up everything and put it down, and then some
I hope I got it right, oh God it’s been so long
The only thing I remember is nothing being wrong
But memories will lie til the day I die
Nothing to be done
You can come home expecting something like a parade—
Packed days, long nights, no fights, always with something to say—
But as before, evermore, everything was the same
So I just took a seat, no one new to meet
And nothing to be done
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