& you were so lovely
I didn't notice what was happening
I didn't think this would happen to me
But I wasn't happening
I wasn't anything
When the people you love aren't right under yr nose
& you're miles away and you feel a bit thrown
Surrounded by people who don't give a shit
So you watch their blank faces and cling to the bits
I've been attracted to yr inhumanity
But every conversation ends so unattractively
& we are not the beautiful couple we thought we'd be
Thoughts come in & thoughts go out
Maybe I'll never know what I'm talking about
In search of a certain elegance, will this all repeat again?
Part IV, Prop. 20, Scholium:
No one, therefore, unless he is defeated by causes external, and contrary, to his nature, neglects to seek his own advantage, or to preserve his being.
I stand right up & I say
"I see through you!"
But life just keeps going on
Floating perceptions
Highest perfection
T̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶a̶ ̶v̶i̶n̶d̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ ̶
J̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶
̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶,̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶.̶
(Turning each other off, still I keep holding on. Is it because—)
When the dance is over the blank faces head home
Indifferent lovers come crashing into reality—
I've been attracted to your inhumanity
But every conversation ends so unattractively
& we are not the beautiful couple I thought we'd be
But what do I know about humanity?
Thoughts arrive so quick I wouldn't say they belong to me
Sometimes I'm human, & sometimes I'm just saying words
& I just go through the motions
Are these just lesser emotions?
But still, you tell me I'm so sensitive
& I guess I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here?
& I guess I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here?
I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here
I just do things just to do things & I do things, but do I just do things to feel like I'm here
—
Part IV, Prop. 37, Scholium 1:
And since the greatest good one seeks from an affect is often such that only one can possess it fully, those who love are not of one mind in their love—while they rejoice to sing the praises of the thing they love, they fear to be believed.
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